Am I? Hungry? Really?

One of the instructions in the Mission Biggest Weight Loss Challenge plan is to rate your hunger on a scale of 0-10 with 0 being “empty” and 10 being, “take me to the hospital and have my stomach pumped” (not really, but you get my drift). We were given a list of factors that make you hungry, one of which is: Defending your set point. Several years ago there was a diet philosophy that centered on a person having a weight set point; a weight that your body naturally gravitates to, and that’s what I thought the Challenge information was referring to. It well might be, but yesterday I discovered that it meant something entirely different to me.

I was struggling with the amount of food I had eaten, rather than whether or not I was hungry. I ate a good breakfast at 8:00 (satisfied), and at 1:30 I had a small salad with hummus on the side (not satisfied), then ate a Larabar at 3:00 (satisfied). At 3:45 I went to the rec center and swam for 40 minutes, stretched out in the steam room for about five, then headed to the showers. Walking to my car at 5:10 I was hungry and decided to have a leftover baked potato at home.

Driving home I got to thinking about whether or not I was actually hungry, much less starving, and I discovered that physically I wasn’t hungry, but mentally I was famished. I fought it for awhile, but gave in and ate a handful of roasted butternut squash seeds and a small bowl of brown rice. It was this morning that I realized I do have a set point and it has to do with volume and density, not weight or hunger. There is a certain volume/density of food that is a subconscious need rather than a physical one.

So even if gluten isn’t an issue for me this test has been enormously beneficial. The absence of dense volume has brought me a new level of awareness and is responsible for the set point epiphany. I can look at my hunger with new eyes and when it’s volume/density related deal with it differently. That might not alleviate the feeling that something is missing, but it gives me an opportunity to discover what is actually physically necessary.

I wonder if the lower density of the food is why a lot of people who have grown up with a predictable food volume/density at meals and snacks feel deprived when eating healthy, lower calorie foods.

This brings me to another factor relating to my volume/density set point and that’s my sense of the volume of food that will prevent future hunger. I often eat based on when I think I’ll eat again. As an example, one of the factors in eating the seeds and rice last night was that I was going to go out and walk my dogs. Ummmm … Okay. What’s that about? Was I going to pass out from lack of food in the next hour? I don’t think so. Remember, I wasn't even physically hungry!

I can’t imagine many situations when I wouldn’t be able to find something to eat in a timely manner. I’ve never been so broke that I didn’t have food (thank you, universe!) and it’s not like I live in the middle of nowhere and find my cupboards bare on a regular basis with the nearest convenience store twenty miles down a lonely country road; Awareness.

Redefining hunger is going to be enormously helpful to me. Gaining insight into an issue gives me information to change it. Recognizing the absence of density is another piece of information on the journey. 

Moving Forward

This baby, almost-but-not-quite-total vegan needs to move forward to totally vegan. I realize that I have to learn how to say, "No, thank you." when I'm with friends who have tried, but not quite hit the vegan mark. For me, that's difficult. It's also difficult for me to say no when the deed has already been done. If there's a casserole that has dairy or eggs in it, I usually eat some of it. I'd like to think that it's out of being polite, but that's not the whole truth. It also tastes good.

Which brings me to something that really bugs me about people. Upon hearing that I am a vegan, a lot of people ... a lot ... say, "Oh, I love my meat. I couldn't give up turkey at Thanksgiving, or my cheeseburgers, or my bacon and eggs, or my milk, or how in the world could I live without my cheese?" I tell them that I started slowly, with red meat first, then poultry, then dairy and eggs, and then seafood. I also confess that I still think about how good a cheeseburger would taste, but that when I actually think about biting into it, all desire drops away, but that it wasn't that way in the beginning. They don't hear it. They just don't hear it. All they are thinking at that point is that they will never give up their burger or turkey or bacon or cheese. You can't make them. Nobody can make them. Don't come any closer!!! Wow! 

First of all, do they think I hated the taste of fried chicken? Steak? Cheeseburgers? Ice Cream? Well, I DIDN'T DAMN IT!!! I loved fried chicken. It was probably my favorite food on the planet. Why do they think it didn't take stamina and resolve?? (As I said above, I still fight some things a full year later.) I hate that they judge my compassionate, healthful decision as having been easy for me because I didn't have as much 'like' to give up. ARGHHH!!!

So, no matter whether they see the videos (I'm convinced they close their eyes at the gory parts) or they read the books or articles about factory farming, they still casually march to the grocery store and buy their torture in a package, take it home, cook it up, and gorge. How can anyone do that? Once you know, how do you divest yourself of responsibility? Just curious.

Back to how I move forward. Clearly I'm not moving in circles that have the same ideals. So, for my New Year's resolution I'm going to step out of my comfort zone and actually go to the Vegetarian and Vegan Meetups in my area. I need to add some vegan and vegetarian friends to my social circle. I need friends who understand my choices and who can share vegan experiences. I'm not giving up the friends I love, just adding to the cirlce!

So, that's it! I followed through on last year's resolution. Made a mid-year resolution to work out and get healthy and followed through on that, so I am confident that I can follow through on this one too.

Happy New Year!!